Frequently Asked Questions

If you have a question about the Magic Eightball, send us an email.

Q: Does this really work?
A: Yes, it does. Please refer to the history for an explanation of how it works.

Q: How can this really work, or didn't you just make up these answers yourself?
A: Yes. Please refer to the history.

Q: I got (insert eightball's response here) from the eightball, but what does that mean?
A: Very often, in our daily lives, we know the answers that we seek. Actually, this is called Self-Realization. It's usually the case that you have made up your mind about things long before you actually encounter the question, but the 8-ball knows. The eightball is the key that can unlock your subconscious and reveal what you used to know, or never suspected. Is your husband cheating on you? You suspect, but the eightball knows. Why are you dieting and not losing weight? You have no idea, but the eightball remembers that you eat two Snickers every day.

Q: Why do I only get "you'll go to hell"? My friend got real help and I only ever get You'll go to hell.
A: You better change your ways.

Q: Is it better if I close my eyes to click or not?
A: If you can read with your eyes closed, closed works best.

Q: Will this work even if I don't believe in it?
A: Yes, but it rarely works without an actual computer.

Q: My friend said that when I sent her an eighball card, she actually got my answer because I could have asked a question subconsciously when I sent the card.
A: If she is a true friend, her answer IS your answer.

Q: Is it true that the eightball is the work of satan?
A: Sometimes Satan does use computers to take control of people's minds, however, we asked him to leave our site alone, and that seems to have worked.

Q: Is it true that you have traced a high level of eightball use to the White House?
A: We cannot be certain that the White House, specifically, is using the eightball, however we do get a lot of government hits.

Q: Is it true that the United States Government has demanded the removal of the magic eightball from your site?
A: Certainly not! They have never requested that we remove the eightball, but they refuse to pay for the amount of bandwidth they use.

Q: Does the eightball work for other animals besides humans?
A: Koko the gorilla is known to use it occassionally, but most animals tend to prefer tarot.